Let’s dive into one of the most debated & opinionated topic of the wedding world – changing your name after tying the knot!
For some, tradition is key here. The tradition, for arguments sake, is the bride takes her husbands surname. But what is the meaning behind this tradition and why does it exist? Well, its from way back when women where sold or traded by their fathers (who had every right to his daughters autonomy) to her new husband who then legal owned her (and every right to his new wife’s autonomy)
For the majority of us, this type of ‘contract’ seems so far removed from modern society. So why is this tradition, that stems from female repression & patriarchal control, still such a hot topic? Because it’s not all black & white.
REASONS TO CHANGE YOUR NAME
🟡A united family: sharing a surname can foster a strong sense of belonging & unity.
🟡 Tradition: honouring family heritage & its what has always been done.
🟡 Practicality: The streamline of legal documents & children’s names can run smoother with just one family name.
🟡 Complex family upbringing: you may be ready to take on a new name, one you can be proud of. Not everyone likes the name they were born with and the desire to separate from that attachment is vital.
🟡 Pressure: your partner really wants you to change your name. If this is the case, perhaps there is a bigger picture at play here that you need to address.
REASONS TO KEEP YOUR NAME
🟣 Your name is you: this is the name that you graduated with, achieved huge personal goals or made really proud life accomplishments with. Trading your name, may feel like losing part of your identity.
🟣 Admin hassle: changing a name isn’t a small decision. You need to include the bank, social welfare, your passport, your work place, your memberships & subscriptions, your visa and car tax & insurance to name a few. It’s a big deal and a lot of time to be set aside for it.
🟣 Outdated tradition: in the world of feminism & equality, changing your name can be viewed as outdated and unnecessary.
🟣 Being an example for your kids: if you chose to have children or you have children before getting married, you can show them even in the unity of marriage, individualism can coexist. A name or a person doesn’t have to change to fit into the ‘club.’
As you can see, this topic can be both such an easy obvious choice for some and for others, a hard & controversial subject.
Ultimately, it’s a deeply personal decision and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. At TWS, we believe in empowering couples to make their own choices that align with their values.
So keep your name, hyphenate or take your partners name, this is a decision only you can make. Trust your gut, heart & mind and do what’s right for you!
